Picking up guys - An ongoing discussion and revelations

[ Most of this entry was excepted from a comment I wrote on Jo's blog]

Thanks to Jo Kristian of Histories of Sex Blog http://historiesofsex.blogspot.com for his own poll, and inviting us to answer the Sex Meme one below, and for generating the stimulating discussion on 'How to pick up guys for casual sex.'


His posts always get my hormones boiling especially when I imagine the parts that you cleverly (or coyly?) leave out of your descriptions of sexual adventuring.
My slant on 'making and taking one's opportunities' is too long to enunciate here. Gist: It's not so much a matter of what defines the sexual / erotic/ suggestive behavior, but what result(s) the behavior produces.

Let me briefly explain (exchanging comments only works for short conversations - I think).

For example, I often go out to walk my dogs (in turns since there are 3 of them) early in the morning (and sometimes at other times of day) with my zipper all the way down. With a untucked in shirt, it's not clearly visible UNLESS someone is actually glimpsing at it or trying to peer in order to get a look at my pubes or cock. You have commented on that before - you can TELL who's interested by

following the paths their eyes take as they approach.

The 'result' in your case might be a potential encounter in the bushes of the park. But for others of us, that's far less likely (in suburban Tokyo or London) so it just appears - in effect - to be an (older man's) exhibitionistic fetish behaviour. Neither of these is a problem but the actual result and also the way such behaviour is perceived by the person doing it, by the interested viewer, and the uninterested passer-by (even angry or disgusted), or even by hearsay in society can be enormously different and therefore have a great effect on the person doing it. There is probably less effect on the guys who notice and just try to forget about it.


Youth certainly has its charms and it often affords one the license to be free of guilt or very uninhibited since youth can choose to act on it - both in having desire or in the lack of it and any action.

What seems critical to me is the psychological game (a type of sexual ecology) that's going on in these situations. Thomas Mann's A Death in Venice is a classic portrait of the two sides of the romantic (and hardly even physical) chase between the young and the older male. I wonder what Tadzio was thinking when he noticed the older man watching him. It's probably a bit like that for you .. after all, you only in your early 20s. Think for a moment (oh..so briefly - if you will) of what things will be like when you are nearly 50 or even 70 years of age.

As always.. thanks for writing (and reading)....

Kelly (sunbuns99 / sunbunz)

  

Places for finding sex in public: Cruising areas Part 2

[Note: A Follow up of a discussion on Dudenudes.com ]
 A response by sunbuns99 

This topic is a frequent one of interest to both gay and bi-curious men, of which the latter are married or involved in relationship with women and thus need some 'male-oriented' sexual release. I have blogged / talked about this many times but as the warmer weather approaches (in the northern hemisphere), thoughts of furtive sexual hunting games and orgiastic and erotic encounters in public places again captures my full attention and brings my (and maybe yours too) to full erection in anticipation of public outdoor sex with anonymous hunks and in reality, most times with regular blokes. 

 Where do you find the male cruising areas? 

The list is not extensive or complete. I am sure many of you can recommend your own favorite gay beach or public cruising area. 
Please add any you have enjoyed or know about in a comment below . 

Well, it's partly gaydar.. or rather the basic hunting instinct of the male of the species. The place just seems right or you can feel the vibe of the cruisers mentality as you walk down a certain street or alley, enter a public park or seek out a less crowded corner of a local recreation area or beach. Public restrooms figure prominently in these zones of the sexual hunter. Perhaps not simply because they do offer a vehicle for 'semi-public' exposure of one's sexual and, obviously, excretory organs. 
But it may be the associations, and the fact that men have just handled or are about to touch their own privates which may heighten their sexual awareness of others - particularly the men that are experiencing similar sensuous emotions - even when they can be put in actual words or envisioned in their minds as any kind of defined sexual act. 

The ambiance of the gay cruise area may residence in such factors as: location, convenience, proximity to other male or gay-oriented spots (Home Depot's tool department, garden shop and its restrooms may be notorious in this respect), whether or not the male body can be exposed asnormally accepted behavior, such as a public or university gymnasium lockroom, or public swimming pool, or whether there is some chance of seeing the naked male body or at least parts of it (such as a beach, or sunbathers on grassy lawn in a big city park, or where even more explicit male (and/or female) nudity occurs, such as a stripclub, or nude beach or clothing optional resortor camp, or at some public large-group events where nudity may be involved, such as Mardi Gras and Carnival, etc. 


Here are some of my recommendations for places to find male-4-male sex (and gay, homoerotic or sexual stimulation or gratification in public places: 
Some very large metropolitan parks in major world cities have an unspoken tradition of clandestine public sex. Englischer Garten in Munich’s central park, New York’s Central Park, San Francisco’s Golden Gate Park, and Tokyo’s Yoyogi Park are all places where (sometimes) and if you only know where to look you can see people (straight and gay couples) having sex. In Tokyo, a few years back, there was a kind of club of guys who made it their hobby to spy on couples making out or fucking or otherwise petting/masturbating each other and attempts to take photos (or at least use night vision binoculars). 

Some large public fairs, street events and demonstrations sometimes have episodes of public sex: Southern Decadence (gay event at Labor Day in New Orleans), Mardi Gras, (at various locations), Folsom Street Fair, and Dore Alley Parade, etc…  I am inclined to think it might happen at WNBR but I have no evidence to prove it (maybe just wishful thinking). 

YOUR FEEDBACK and RESPONSES are appreciated: 

The list is not extensive or complete. I am sure many of you can recommend your own favorite gay beach or public cruising area.

Please add any you have enjoyed or know about in a comment below . 

If you have several you can also add them to a database of Cruising Spots and Places to Get Naked at 
Wufoo CMNM Places (online entry form): 

http://sunbunz.wufoo.com/forms/z7x4m1/

The dunes of Maspalomas, near Playa del Ingles, Gran Canaria, Spain. The Canary Islands are Spanish territories off the coast of Morocco. Tons of gay semi-public and sometimes heterosexual sex going on in the dunes just behind the large nude beach (FKK) area.

2) There are dozens (if not more) nude beaches around Spain (from Barcelona to Cadiz).

Very often you can expect to see a gay men’s cruising area close by and therefore, sometimes you can view sexual acts by people (supposedly gay men) who either don’t know or who don’t care. I can give the names and locations for anyone who asks (politely). Smile!

3) Sometimes the parking lots at large beachside resorts become a sexual playground for a few adventure-some couples. Normally, only male-femalecouples can actually get away with it. But it does happen between men when there are the right circumstances - such as a full moon (April 18 is the next one) or when there is a nude beach nearby.

I watched a mixed race couple (M/F) fuck in the parking lot to Black’s Beach (along with quite a few other people) across from UCSD campus. It was really hot watching a big dick-clubbed black dude butt-pounded from behind a white woman with her bikini rolled down her legs, whom he either had just picked up on the nude beach, or with whom he had been ‘overstimulated’ by spending an afternoon out on the nude beach (mixed sexes).

P.S. Due to greater police and ranger patrols, this seems to becoming rarer.

A few such clothing optional beaches in the US that USED to have some public sex going on (either hidden or safely discreet) were:

Nude or Gay Beaches in the US 

A few such clothing optional beaches in the US that USED to have some public sex going on (either hidden or safely discreet). 

At least, I had the pleasure of getting lucky with one or more male sexual partners at each of the following public beaches: 

• a) Herring Cove State Beach, Provincetown, Cape Cod, Mass. (new patrols make it difficult to even be naked, and the rangers also patrol the dunes looking for illicit behavior to arrest guys)
• b) Black’s Beach, La Jolla, between UCSD and Torrey Pines State Preserve (Park)
• c) Baker’s Beach, San Francisco, near Golden Gate Bridge Land’s End Park, near The Presidio - not far from Seal Rock
• d) San Onofre Beach Park, (no longer legally a nudist beach)
• e) Williamette River, Eugene, Oregon - near Lane Community College, also near a concrete plant - a river side swimming area used to be a gay cruising zone, and was a place that hippies and college kids could get naked and fuck in peace.

Some very large metropolitan parks in major world cities have an unspoken tradition of clandestine public sex. Englischer Garten in Munich’s central park, New York’s Central Park, San Francisco’s Golden Gate Park, and Tokyo’s Yoyogi Park are all places where (sometimes) and if you only know where to look you can see people (straight and gay couples) having sex. In Tokyo, a few years back, there was a kind of club of guys who made it their hobby to spy on couples making out or fucking or otherwise petting/masturbating each other and attempts to take photos (or at least use night vision binoculars).

Some large public fairs, street events and demonstrations sometimes have episodes of public sex: Southern Decadence (gay event at Labor Day in New Orleans), Mardi Gras, (at various locations), Folsom Street Fair, and Dorey Alley Parade, etc… I am inclined to think it might happen at WNBR but I have no evidence to prove it (maybe just wishful thinking).