Nudism: Father and sons / parent-child

It may be that those who don't have children (of either sex) might possibly 'project' what might be their own doubts (or fears or sexual inclinations) when they consider how gay or bisexual fathers could be perfectly comfortable being naked with their children (especially sons), or even want to make sure that they DO get the opportunity to learn / experience being comfortable naked with their dads and other men.

I don't ever recall having the slightest urge to 'know' my own sons biblically (i.e. in a less than wholesome way) and never gave the first thought to being sexually attracted to them. I'd be less than honest to say that this was not always true about some of their high school friends and soccer teammates. However, I never ever acted on these thoughts - although I wouldn't morally condemn some man who did - that's not what the issue or the original question on this thread is about.

I'm not rejecting the possibility that some fathers could have more than an affectionate or fatherly interest in their sons, but I'd bet that most do not.




 
  

In my own case, there was no willful desire, ulterior motive or sinister plan to let the boys see me (and my wife) naked. It was just a natural family thing. We did not raise them in Judeo-Christian religion-influenced America so that probably had a lot to do with reasons why it just seemed natural. We bathed together, went to public baths and hot springs resorts, and a few sometime visited nude beaches (or clothing-optional spots, in other countries - such as Greece and Munich's Englischergarten). Conversations sometimes included references to what they saw or were experiencing and there were the inevitable questions. But it was appropriate and in context - so it was a good way and good time to answer their questions: about sex or sexual attraction or feelings and behavior.

I think my sons today have a healthy respect for the human body and an amazing tolerance for

diversity - including my own bisexuality, which evidently was even clear to them long before we actually told them.

I can't say that it's all attributable to our being nude together as a family but I think it was a contributing factor or at least just one in a long series of ways of thinking and ways of treating people and being nude that helped them to be open and honest about sexual issues, and not be morally uptight or self-righteous about gender, nudity and human sexual behavior.
They are both heterosexual and over 21-year-old male adults. I am talking about our being nude when they were infants, young boys and into the teenage years. We don't have as much occasion to get naked together these days.

Well... they do mean something.... what more can I say. I'll try.
I was TRYING to support you in the idea that being nude with your sons (or any kids) can be (even should be) something that's very natural and not a cause for alarm. (like some of the hyper-moralistic gay men are suggesting).

BUT .. it does depend on the situation (where you take them and what you 'show' them both physically and your own mental messages to the boys. And it also depends a lot on the boys' (children) own self-understanding and self-acceptance.
Hey, I'm not perfect. The 'idea' of a father and son being sexually involved is a secret fantasy. I enjoy reading Handjobs

http://www.hjmag.com/handjobs/
But it IS just fantasy material - I find I am not attracted at all to my own offspring. However, the thought has crossed my mind often enough about other fathers and their sons.

I think that all boys have at least one time or another (or maybe more than that) had to come to grips with the thought of their father as a sexual being or even an object of some kind of sexual emotions or physical intimacy. But they usually grow out (of it) and grow up (more interested in other things or girls (or guys) their own age before any attraction toward their dad is acted upon. Close to 90% of boys have experience with sexual 'play' with other boys - it's about being a male of the human species.

Fathers are likely to have experienced these same fleeting feelings (and then usually they passed ) and the realization about their sons growing up sexually. I noticed that the discussion has since about stopped. There was one point that had many people curious. You avoided answering the question about your son's ages. In today's climate of "anti-child predator" and all the media hype about child sexual abuse, and Internet child/teen sex / chat rooms etc, I realize you probably don't want to admit much of anything, but you could have said just that it's private or that it's not important to the gist of the discussion. By the way, I would not fault you if you did admit you enjoy being admired by your sons (I don't care what age they are).

Hope you can get what I meant.
Kelly

The CMNM dynamic drives a lot of men to explore 'gay' issues

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Experiencing a Tribe for Real - - Life in a Hostel Environment

Originally posted on Tribe.net Blog
I love hostel stays.

Hostels are really great places for potential and sometimes actual CMNM experiences. More than the erotically suggestive nature, the real chance to meet people from all walks of life and to become authentic -- even if only temporarily - buddies or friends. There is just something about being a fellow sojourner that brings out the 'best' in a person (well.. I think it does for me). I've posted on this topic before but there's not very much reaction - although my take on hosteling (and the pleasure it affords) has changed recently.

In some ways, being on Tribe.net (also some of the other alternative life-style social networking sites ) is a lot like living in a hostel with a set of unique and slightly strange (if not almost perverted) bunk of quirky people. In real life, there aren't that many places - in the modern and average working-man world -- that you can really let your hair down and let your personality and anatomy all hang out (LOL - in a manner of speaking). On a recent stopover trip to NYC, I had intended to stay in a hostel situation. But unfortunately, I couldn't get a reservation at any place I really want to 'experience'. So I settled on another kind of alternative accommodations: the YMCA Club hotels - this time the West Side YMCA.

 I realize I am getting a bit off-subject but it IS directly or indirectly related to CMNM or male-to-

male flashing. Saunas (gay sex clubs/baths) are not totally banned in NYC but it seems that true gay baths ALMOST are- unless you don't count East Side Club or the West Side Club. While I was staying at the West Side YMCA, I visited the West Side Club (no relation, similar name only) on two nights and found it OK enough to go back for more.

They charged an initial membership fee ($15?) but you get a 30-day member's card, which allows

for 5 visits (just pay for a room (or locker). I recommend a room and it's customary to give a tip to the staffer who leads you to your room. There were a variety of men but there was virtually no sex in the corridors or open areas - it was confined to the private rooms with the doors closed -- which was somewhat disappointing.


At West Side Club, the is only one small shower room, and the sauna was not working (or appeared to be closed) - which may be connected to fact that the sauna room was also closed at the West Side YMCA, where I stayed two nights. At the Y, a sign was posted saying that it was closed by order of the City Board of Health. Was it just this one that had not passed inspection or is the NYC Board of Health systematically shutting down all public saunas? Sort of like - cleaning out the porn and prostitutes out of Times Square? Go figure.

I have love staying at hostels - not just for the economy, and also not just because I have an 'excuse' to be naked in front to strangers (which is always fun), but I have found now that they are enjoyable even more for the chance for camaraderie and acceptance from new acquaintances and potential friends.


Initially, I saw it as a way to flash people whose reactions you could see and who can't quite run away. But now, I find that being accepted for being myself is working like a kind of therapy and giving me less reason/compulsion to 'flash' or get naked in front of strangers (not that I ever really did it blatantly anyway - but the fantasy and compulsivity had been growing for the last few years whether I actually acted on it or not).

More recently, I have found that I really enjoy getting to know the people I am 'living' with in the hostel. I guess it comes from my not acting anything but myself -- I feel free to be me - kinky, profane, but passionate, caring, and adventurous too.

 I seemed to be (socially) rewarded for the very things that might be 'pervs' in someone else's book. So I've started to see hostels in a whole new light. Still, there are not all like that. I guess it depends on how long you stay - and whether your roomies are ready and willing to socialize. It also matters whether they are willing to accept your 'uniqueness' (diversity - differences in sexual persuasions - i.e. being gay or a nudist or an exhibitionist.)








Maybe it has everything to do with the location (what hostel, in what city/country, and what the social context is). It was a mixed room for 8 with of them 2 women (who were not together) in Honolulu. We did things together - like going out to clubs, dancing, taking in local sites (North Shore Sunset Beach), swimming and even skinnydipping late on night. Using the same bathroom, shower, watching each other change in the room and at the beach was a kind of therapy -- in one sense. My nudity in the room was either overlooked or just accepted - as was everyone else's. I found I didn't really feel the need to be the perv, who made others leary or uncomfortable (with this group).

I did get naked and erect for the 'benefit' of my opposite bunkmate, but he either didn't care or really didn't notice. Because later, we ended up spending a couple of days together (on another island).
I guess too that my personality sort of balanced the one overly macho str8 guy who also seemed to like getting nude, too - although seemed possessed with chasing skirt 24/7.

 In that setting, he was more like the 'pervert', a ex-crazed, testosterone-drenched horny dog. So I didn't' need or couldn't take that role. He's been traveling for a year and had had some bad experiences so I guess he was 'acting' out like some kind of kid (which he was at 23). He's lost his travel partner and best friend - who had gotten hooked on drugs while in the Caribbean and had had to be shipped home for hospitalization to the Netherlands). There was some secret intrigue (not me) with some gay hanky panky going on between one of our roomies and a guy next door which complicated things. Why they tried so desperately to cover it up (without much success) was beyond me. Overall, it was a very nice time.

A few weeks later, I spent a night in a hostel in NYC (Gershwin
Hotel has both private and dorm-style rooms). Life was back to normal -meaning -- I didn't even speak to my roomies (two other young men) except in the dark when I came in after 11pm. There was just one roommate in the room and he appeared asleep. I stripped in the darkened room and took a shower, leaving the door unlocked (on purpose). The second roommate came in and opened the door to the bathroom catching me fully nude. When I came out and finished dressing, he was in bed, pretending not to notice. I had to leave early the next morning but gave him a lot to look at that night since we were the ones on the two bottom bunks. While in NYC, I looked up some other possible hostels. I believe that WestSide Inn (107st) was promising.

Are there other hostels or hotels in NYC that anyone can recommend?