Showing posts with label gender. Show all posts
Showing posts with label gender. Show all posts

Thursday, July 26, 2018

Searching for a Deeper, More Intellectual Approach to CMNM Sensuality

Geminiguy13 is a reader and fellow CMNM enthusiast, who has a gift for expressing himself eloquently about the psychological and intellectual issues embedded in the reality of male sexuality. Check out an earlier response from him below (Feb 2 post).
I read with great interest and enthusiasm your latest entry on the CMNM blog. I have to agree with you that craving a 'skinship' relationship with other men is oftentimes more a CMNM experience rather than a sexual one. I am speaking from personal experience, now that I am able to put a name (CMNM) to it. Before realizing the existence of this phenomenon, I too thought it was my libido talking. But, now, at this (slightly) later point in my life, I am searching for a deeper, more intellectual approach to sensuality. Don't get me wrong, I have enjoyed some good sex over the years. If I may be more blunt, as I feel I can due to the honest tone of our communications, I have fucked countless guys (and have been fucked by them as well), sucked my share of some great cocks (and received blow-jobs as well), and live to tell the story!!! However, being the undraped guy in a room full of dressed dudes (even if it's just one) is the epitome of erotic surrender. I am strictly an indoors kind of fellow, so revealing my manhood in an intimate setting to a fully dressed man, making sure I put him at ease, whether we have a drink, watch a little telly, or just spend the time bullshitting: This is my idea of sexual intercourse! Well, I hope I'm not rambling, but I do hope that with increased awareness and consciousness, the word will spread and more and more guys will become more enlightened by the age-old CMNM lifestyle. I look forward to the next installment! Cheers, the Gemini



[ An academic -type blog post - still in progress - more to be added later]
Clothed males who revel in the self-acclaiming, social-norm-defying nudity of one of their members may not be, necessarily, a universal male-oriented
behavior among all cultures. However, it is a fairly common phenomenon. The photo above highlights the apparent delight that this group of Japanese men are experiencing by seeing one of their guys - get up and show his genitals. 
 
They are probably either regular businessmen or factory workers on a retreat or a set of club members or teammates who are relaxing after the day's events (moto-cross races, mountain biking or birdwatching.. whatever).
This is NOT sexually explicit behavior by any stretch of the imagination. But why do they have such glee in the eyes? It is my theory that the act of nudity itself is a self-affirming (virtually symbolic) act that all the men are enjoying vicariously. 

True, it may cause a few of the men to long for some deeper or intimate affection with this naked guy who is 'on display' or for other members of the gang, but it is not sexual in the raw and basic sense of the word. Therefore, the spector of homoerotic stimulation always lies at the edges of the barrier between acceptable and unacceptable behavior (or thoughts) when a group of men who relate well gets together -- without the social pressures that tend to suppress freedom of individual expression - especially of behaviors or thoughts that are sexually motivated or erotically appealing. 






   
The photo of the guy spreading his legs just above is one of this blog's author.

Tuesday, September 22, 2015

Gay Life in Japan: a personal explanation



seanolan
Expert on Something
 Posts: 166
Location: Shirakawa, Fukushima, Japan

 As a gay man in Japan, I have some experience in this, so let me give my 2 yen. First, there is no religious bias from most Japanese. Historically, many Japanese have been homosexual (some buddhist temples in Japan actually kept young men {even young boys at time, sadly} specifically because they were beautiful and the monks would have regular sexual encounters with them, and samurai often had relationships with their "squires" or "apprentices" {not sure what the Japanese word for that is} )according to some of the gay literature I have read here. That said, there is a strong bias, not against same sex acts, but against a homosexual lifestyle, because it is not within the traditional Japanese lifestyle.

A youth is expected to go to school, get a job, get married, have kids, and support the family by doing so. Someone who falls outside of that pattern is instantly regarded with suspicion and even contempt by many traditional Japanese. Obviously, a homosexual relationship and lifestyle falls well outside that pattern. I would liken Japanese homosexual culture to that of America in the early 70's, without the active persecution or violence of that time. Most people don't even consider it (you'd be AMAZED how many Japanese have told me that there are no gay Japanese...hand to god!) Those that do, often consider it a choice (and not a good one) and somehow deficient, although many women do consider it hip and cool to have a gay male friend.

There is a lot of confusion, incidentally, even in the language, about the difference between being gay, trangendered and transvestite. In fact, most words in the Japanese language make no distinction between the different identities. Ironically, while homosexuality as a lifestyle is looked at askance, entertainers who break the gender boundaries are incredibly popular, both as objects of amusement and as legitimate entertainers. This leads to many Japanese having confusion about or denial of their orientation. The Japanese closet is deep. Almost all the gay Japanese men I have met over 30 are also married with children. Many of their wives even know that they are gay. It seems that as long as they have fulfilled the obligation to the community of a wife and children, it is tolerated.

Some just look at it as a physical thing (and the stereotype is that this sort of Japanese man is very unaffectionate with their partners in gay sex; no kissing or any form of emotional attachment is formed); that they simply want sex with a man as an urge to be satisfied. This attitude is also held by many heterosexual Japanese about homosexuals, that it is simply a physical urge, not a life-altering orientation. Many other gay Japanese men go the far opposite extreme, becoming extremely effeminate in all their behavior; sometimes even dressing and appearing as women (although not quite to the degree of transvestism).

 Rather than hiding it, they embrace the stereotype that Japanese culture places on them and in fact seem to be throwing it back in that culture's face. Gay bars and gay-oriented businesses are few and far between outside of the metropolises (such as Tokyo's Shinjuku Nichome) and compared to the America, even those venues are small. For instance, Nichome has approximately 200 gay bars (according to Fodor's) in the neighborhood, but from personal experience I can tell you that aside from a very few, these bars have a seating capacity of 6-15 people...they are bars, not clubs. There are also occasionally places in the most out-of-the-way towns that would shock you...my small town does not have a gay bar (or in fact any night clubs) but it does have a transexual snack/hostess bar! HOW it stays open in this town, I couldn't even tell you...

 There are quite a few small gay newspapers and magazines published in Japan, and they tend to be
very discrete in delivery. In the larger cities, there are gay encounter/social groups as well. Now, a bit of good news for foreigners coming to Japan...usually, Japanese have NO problem with homosexual foreigners. Remember, we are expected to not conform to Japanese culture (which can work for and against us in many situations) and so without any religious bias against homosexuality, we slip unscathed under the "conformity" radar...it's just one more weird thing about you, like eating raw vegetables, hating natto and wearing non-white shirts to work. However, there seems to be a bit of mild prejudice about us working with kids (or maybe not...I'll explain).

A few of the teachers I work/have worked with who know my orientation have told me it would be better for me not to talk about it, as some parents might be uncomfortable with me being in charge of their kids. On the other hand, several of my gay JET friends are not only out at the schools they teach at, but they have even taught lessons on homosexuality in other countries and how it is received there, without any negative fallout. So it could be that the teachers who spoke to me were simply being extra cautious, or my friends could have been lucky. I hope this is useful to you, or at least informative.

 Smile,  Sean