What gives with the new '"I'm not gay, but I just suck cock" mentality of today's youth?

        The above photo is only one of two dozen that a young man (who called himself Str8man) posted on another gay discussion board. The user explained that he was 'really' straight, but that he wanted (or needed) the advice of guys who could be honest about whether his 'dick' was big enough or not. It was obviously more than simply that because the posting of his self-pics (never the face) has gone on periodically for several months now.

 
 

       While initially a 'virgin', he explained during the course of the posts how 

he had had sexual experiences with his girlfriend, but was often horny so considered getting a 'blowjob' from a guy at some point. I think this type of Net 'naked' exposure or self-revelation is symptomatic of what I call the need for male 'skinship' - a form of the CMNM experience. As our societies have accepted 'gayness' (at least to some legal extent), the stigma about being bi or gay - while not vanished - is certainly greatly reduced and for a few happy (no pun intended) gay men, it may be non-existent. However, at the same time, I think this new sexual 'freedom' for all males puts traditional self-

identity in some type of young males and even older men into greater jeopardy. In a way, the macho male is even more threatened in his feelings of isolation and his lack of ability to make 'acceptable' buddy-buddy relationships with other males (particularly those a little older and wiser ) in whom he cannot fully confide or whose affection and need for intimacy he feels he must still largely deny - except for 'outburst' like this one on gay/bi Net sites. 

         In a way, gay sites are becoming the confessionals of a whole new

generation of males who crave deeper male intimacy - with or without everything else that is involved in a emotional romantic or sexual interpersonal relationship. For the young kid or full-blow teenage, (such as Str8man above) who may have no father (divorced parents) or even no close adult relationships at all - especially men because of today's climate of paranoia about the potential of 'child abuse' by ordinary adults and social authorities figures (teachers, counselors, coaches, priests). He may feel particularly isolated or alone in his feeling of inadequacy -- especially when he is growing up, going through adolescence's change and hormonal upheavals, and experiencing the first few sexual and romantic relationships. It seems to be all to common to see exactly we are seeing above -- it's emblematic of a larger social phenomenon. 

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 I think that many guys who visit (lurk) or participate in the message boards and forums of gay social networking and gay hook-up sites such as Dudesnude, JustusBoys, Gaywatch, Dlist, Lifeout, and definitely on sites such as DickFlash are actually craving CMNM experiences -- rather than true simply just sex to get off. It's not that they don't need or wan
t to get off (ejaculate) or that they don't need to communicate or try to relate and form relationships or friendship, but I believe that the need to profoundly reach a deep intimate level of emotional or psycho-sexual communication or interaction with other men - THAT fundamentally involves nudity - is a very strong force and a desire they feel that must fulfill.

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Therefore, I would like to expand the definition of CMNM (clothed male - naked male). You can see that expanded definition in earlier entries of the blog I have started, devoted to this topic: Guys Into CMNM You can read it at: http://guysn2cmnm.blogspot.com Your experiences, stories, comments/reactions, Net resources, pics are welcomed as contributions for the CMNM blog. Please send them to: sunbunz AT gmail DOT com

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           In CNMN experiences, not everyone involved needs to be to completely dressed or undressed (there can be mixed dressed/nude people in the same situation). It's the potential for nudity as a form of intimate or erotic communication that is more important than actually who is nude or clothed and how far each way. There can be more than one nude guys - it's just that there must be one clothed guys too. Often, guys can get CMNM thrills by being the dressed one or the naked one alternatively. I know that it works this way for me. I'm not passing any critical judgement on any other kind of male-oriented sexual lifestyle -- (flashing, BDSM, leather, role-playing (involving uniforms or costumes) because some people are turned on by multiple form of sexual stimulation - some of us are bisexual (past / present and future) and some of us get off flashing or simply just being exposed (or getting to see those who do). 

A true (extreme) dickflasher seems to get off by

showing an erect cock in places/situations where people don't expect it and are shocked to have the 'space' invaded by a hard dick.. at the extreme, it may be the only way he can get off (ejaculate). It seems that there are actually very few guys who fall into that category. 

         The CMNM (being exposed where clothed guys can view (and/or be visual stimuated) seems to find his (me being one of them) thrill in being naked in front of guys (dressed or in a state of dressing/undressing) where it's is more or less socially acceptable or at least tolerated (even glorified) - like a public street fair or a no-pants or strip night at a male-oriented bar, etc, or more 'innocently' in a locker room or frat party. But I know that in my case, I get a lot more

social/psychological fulfillment / satisifaction (?) and some erotic/sexual pleasure from being in a CMNM situation - especially where I can establish a personal relationship with the clothed (or naked) guys. Recently, I find this often happens in a hostel or similar situation (campground, at the beach or gym showers, or clothing optional resort, etc, where you meet and befriend strangers who later get to see you naked or even aroused - almost by 'accident' not totally by design). 

I collect a lot of CMNM photos and have them for 'friends only' on: http://www.flickr.com/people/sunbunz/ You have to join Flickr (free) and add me as friend to view the pics. Please STATE on your profile that you are 18 years old or OVER 18 This makes things legal and I'll get less flack from Flickr for pandering to minors. There are also thousands of Flickr groups (little discussion but lots of photos) devoted to different aspects of this same idea: Frat parties, doctor's physical exams, being naked in public (not just flashing from a alley or window), sports locker rooms, etc. My own Net photos collections are categorized in sets as such. There are also scores of Net porn sites devoted to some particular 'flavor' or scene that is strongly related to CMNM. There are also a few private and public groups on Yahoo and Tribe.net devoted to CMNM. 

* You must be a Flickr member and my Flickr friend to view the private pics on my Flickr photostream.
_________________ 

The spirit is willing but the flash is week day and weekend!

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Japanese Gay History in Drawing and Painting

First published at:

Below is the image at: niwde.blogspot.com/.../japanese-gay-history.html

on Monday, January 01, 2007

Japanese Gay History

 

"It is believed that the behaviors between a man and a man in Japan before Meiji-era was based on a commitment to spend their lives together, not on their sexual desire. We call the behaviors DANSHOKU or NANSHOKU in Japan, since most of them are not male homosexuality from historical records of the past....

..Male "homosexuality" is supposed that it was from ancient times in Japan. Since introduction of Buddhism into Japan, Buddhist monks have achieved a dominant place in respect of culture and politics. They lived in a steep mountains zone isolated with a society, and developed their original sexual custom by themselves. Also, an aristocrat the governing classes was influenced of a priest of high virtue, and male "homosexuality" progressed from the last stage of Heian period when an appearance of samurai as a guard. In the place isolated from a society like a battlefield, a female is absent and their original society was made by samurai. Since the samurai was seriously influenced of Buddhism or they served for the aristocrats, they inherited priests' custom as it was, and spread the custom further. They love about 10-16,17-year-old boy who were called "TIGO" and "KATTUJIKI or KATSUJIKI". Their hairstyle and clothes seemed to be girls'. ..

...ca 794-1185: Heian period"Heian period" saw the full assimilation of Chinese influences and the flowering of an indigenous aristocratic culture. The development of the Japanese "kana" syllables gave birth to a truly native literary tradition, including some of the finest works of Japanese poetry and prose, such as "The Tale of Genji". Politically, "Heian period" was characterised by the donation of imperial court by regents. "Heian period" witnessed the growing power of provincial warrior bands and the proliferation of private estates, that brought about the disintegration of the old law system "Rituryo". It did not sink deep roots among the people as Buddhism did, though Confucianism was important for Japanese court etiquette and ceremony. The samurai, warrior people, lived by a code of honor known as "Bushido". Many Buddhist monks in a Buddhist monastery practiced "the homosexuality" with "Tigo" who served for the monks because the relationships with female were absolutely prohibited in the Buddhist dogma. There was a rich development of the Tendai and Zen schools. The cute boys " Tigo" served as the important partners for life. The Buddhist priest "Genshin" published "OJOYOSHU" ( Essential of Pure Land Rebirth) in 985, said people got fiery punishment in "homosexuals". As a aristocracy contacted with a Buddhist clergy, "homosexuality" had become popular among them. Ki no Tsurayuki/ (Ki no Tsurayuki) wrote " The Tosa Diary". We find examples of men writing as women. .....

...ca 1185-1333: Kamakura period"Kamakura period" heralded the rise to political power of the provincial warrior class. "Shogunate" was inherited in a series of military government that would rule Japan until the mid-19th century. Other events are "Mongol Invasion", the introduction of " Zen Buddhism", and the emergence of new sects of Buddhism, such as the Pure Land, Nichiren schools. The cute boys were served in court as entertainers and sexual partners.See also "Genpeiseisuiki".....

....The middle stage of Edo period While the peaceful time continued and samurai class feminized, townspeople class gained power. The way of male homosexuality was also feminized and seemingly the motto was emphasized on their enjoyment. With this, "Yaro Kabuki" started by a professional boy. The boy "Wakashu or Wakashudo" was treated as a female not as a male. See also "Akinari Ueda" .. "

You can read more about Japanese Queer History in this site- "Japanese History For Gay Men".
 

  

Posted by niwde at 8:20 PM 

Gay Life in Japan: a personal explanation

seanolan

Expert on Something
 Posts: 166
Location: Shirakawa, Fukushima, Japan

 As a gay man in Japan, I have some experience in this, so let me give my 2 yen. First, there is no religious bias from most Japanese. Historically, many Japanese have been homosexual (some buddhist temples in Japan actually kept young men {even young boys at time, sadly} specifically because they were beautiful and the monks would have regular sexual encounters with them, and samurai often had relationships with their "squires" or "apprentices" {not sure what the Japanese word for that is} )according to some of the gay literature I have read here. That said, there is a strong bias, not against same sex acts, but against a homosexual lifestyle, because it is not within the traditional Japanese lifestyle.

A youth is expected to go to school, get a job, get married, have kids, and support the family by doing so. Someone who falls outside of that pattern is instantly regarded with suspicion and even contempt by many traditional Japanese. Obviously, a homosexual relationship and lifestyle falls well outside that pattern. I would liken Japanese homosexual culture to that of America in the early 70's, without the active persecution or violence of that time. Most people don't even consider it (you'd be AMAZED how many Japanese have told me that there are no gay Japanese...hand to god!) Those that do, often consider it a choice (and not a good one) and somehow deficient, although many women do consider it hip and cool to have a gay male friend.

There is a lot of confusion, incidentally, even in the language, about the difference between being gay, trangendered and transvestite. In fact, most words in the Japanese language make no distinction between the different identities. Ironically, while homosexuality as a lifestyle is looked at askance, entertainers who break the gender boundaries are incredibly popular, both as objects of amusement and as legitimate entertainers. This leads to many Japanese having confusion about or denial of their orientation. The Japanese closet is deep. Almost all the gay Japanese men I have met over 30 are also married with children. Many of their wives even know that they are gay. It seems that as long as they have fulfilled the obligation to the community of a wife and children, it is tolerated.

Some just look at it as a physical thing (and the stereotype is that this sort of Japanese man is very unaffectionate with their partners in gay sex; no kissing or any form of emotional attachment is formed); that they simply want sex with a man as an urge to be satisfied. This attitude is also held by many heterosexual Japanese about homosexuals, that it is simply a physical urge, not a life-altering orientation. Many other gay Japanese men go the far opposite extreme, becoming extremely effeminate in all their behavior; sometimes even dressing and appearing as women (although not quite to the degree of transvestism).

 Rather than hiding it, they embrace the stereotype that Japanese culture places on them and in fact seem to be throwing it back in that culture's face. Gay bars and gay-oriented businesses are few and far between outside of the metropolises (such as Tokyo's Shinjuku Nichome) and compared to the America, even those venues are small. For instance, Nichome has approximately 200 gay bars (according to Fodor's) in the neighborhood, but from personal experience I can tell you that aside from a very few, these bars have a seating capacity of 6-15 people...they are bars, not clubs. There are also occasionally places in the most out-of-the-way towns that would shock you...my small town does not have a gay bar (or in fact any night clubs) but it does have a transexual snack/hostess bar! HOW it stays open in this town, I couldn't even tell you...

 There are quite a few small gay newspapers and magazines published in Japan, and they tend to be

very discrete in delivery. In the larger cities, there are gay encounter/social groups as well. Now, a bit of good news for foreigners coming to Japan...usually, Japanese have NO problem with homosexual foreigners. Remember, we are expected to not conform to Japanese culture (which can work for and against us in many situations) and so without any religious bias against homosexuality, we slip unscathed under the "conformity" radar...it's just one more weird thing about you, like eating raw vegetables, hating natto and wearing non-white shirts to work. However, there seems to be a bit of mild prejudice about us working with kids (or maybe not...I'll explain).

A few of the teachers I work/have worked with who know my orientation have told me it would be better for me not to talk about it, as some parents might be uncomfortable with me being in charge of their kids. On the other hand, several of my gay JET friends are not only out at the schools they teach at, but they have even taught lessons on homosexuality in other countries and how it is received there, without any negative fallout. So it could be that the teachers who spoke to me were simply being extra cautious, or my friends could have been lucky. I hope this is useful to you, or at least informative.

 Smile,  Sean

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