What gives with the new '"I'm not gay, but I just suck cock" mentality of today's youth?

        The above photo is only one of two dozen that a young man (who called himself Str8man) posted on another gay discussion board. The user explained that he was 'really' straight, but that he wanted (or needed) the advice of guys who could be honest about whether his 'dick' was big enough or not. It was obviously more than simply that because the posting of his self-pics (never the face) has gone on periodically for several months now.

 
 

       While initially a 'virgin', he explained during the course of the posts how 

he had had sexual experiences with his girlfriend, but was often horny so considered getting a 'blowjob' from a guy at some point. I think this type of Net 'naked' exposure or self-revelation is symptomatic of what I call the need for male 'skinship' - a form of the CMNM experience. As our societies have accepted 'gayness' (at least to some legal extent), the stigma about being bi or gay - while not vanished - is certainly greatly reduced and for a few happy (no pun intended) gay men, it may be non-existent. However, at the same time, I think this new sexual 'freedom' for all males puts traditional self-

identity in some type of young males and even older men into greater jeopardy. In a way, the macho male is even more threatened in his feelings of isolation and his lack of ability to make 'acceptable' buddy-buddy relationships with other males (particularly those a little older and wiser ) in whom he cannot fully confide or whose affection and need for intimacy he feels he must still largely deny - except for 'outburst' like this one on gay/bi Net sites. 

         In a way, gay sites are becoming the confessionals of a whole new

generation of males who crave deeper male intimacy - with or without everything else that is involved in a emotional romantic or sexual interpersonal relationship. For the young kid or full-blow teenage, (such as Str8man above) who may have no father (divorced parents) or even no close adult relationships at all - especially men because of today's climate of paranoia about the potential of 'child abuse' by ordinary adults and social authorities figures (teachers, counselors, coaches, priests). He may feel particularly isolated or alone in his feeling of inadequacy -- especially when he is growing up, going through adolescence's change and hormonal upheavals, and experiencing the first few sexual and romantic relationships. It seems to be all to common to see exactly we are seeing above -- it's emblematic of a larger social phenomenon. 

-------------------------------------------

 I think that many guys who visit (lurk) or participate in the message boards and forums of gay social networking and gay hook-up sites such as Dudesnude, JustusBoys, Gaywatch, Dlist, Lifeout, and definitely on sites such as DickFlash are actually craving CMNM experiences -- rather than true simply just sex to get off. It's not that they don't need or wan
t to get off (ejaculate) or that they don't need to communicate or try to relate and form relationships or friendship, but I believe that the need to profoundly reach a deep intimate level of emotional or psycho-sexual communication or interaction with other men - THAT fundamentally involves nudity - is a very strong force and a desire they feel that must fulfill.

**********************

Therefore, I would like to expand the definition of CMNM (clothed male - naked male). You can see that expanded definition in earlier entries of the blog I have started, devoted to this topic: Guys Into CMNM You can read it at: http://guysn2cmnm.blogspot.com Your experiences, stories, comments/reactions, Net resources, pics are welcomed as contributions for the CMNM blog. Please send them to: sunbunz AT gmail DOT com

**********************

           In CNMN experiences, not everyone involved needs to be to completely dressed or undressed (there can be mixed dressed/nude people in the same situation). It's the potential for nudity as a form of intimate or erotic communication that is more important than actually who is nude or clothed and how far each way. There can be more than one nude guys - it's just that there must be one clothed guys too. Often, guys can get CMNM thrills by being the dressed one or the naked one alternatively. I know that it works this way for me. I'm not passing any critical judgement on any other kind of male-oriented sexual lifestyle -- (flashing, BDSM, leather, role-playing (involving uniforms or costumes) because some people are turned on by multiple form of sexual stimulation - some of us are bisexual (past / present and future) and some of us get off flashing or simply just being exposed (or getting to see those who do). 

A true (extreme) dickflasher seems to get off by

showing an erect cock in places/situations where people don't expect it and are shocked to have the 'space' invaded by a hard dick.. at the extreme, it may be the only way he can get off (ejaculate). It seems that there are actually very few guys who fall into that category. 

         The CMNM (being exposed where clothed guys can view (and/or be visual stimuated) seems to find his (me being one of them) thrill in being naked in front of guys (dressed or in a state of dressing/undressing) where it's is more or less socially acceptable or at least tolerated (even glorified) - like a public street fair or a no-pants or strip night at a male-oriented bar, etc, or more 'innocently' in a locker room or frat party. But I know that in my case, I get a lot more

social/psychological fulfillment / satisifaction (?) and some erotic/sexual pleasure from being in a CMNM situation - especially where I can establish a personal relationship with the clothed (or naked) guys. Recently, I find this often happens in a hostel or similar situation (campground, at the beach or gym showers, or clothing optional resort, etc, where you meet and befriend strangers who later get to see you naked or even aroused - almost by 'accident' not totally by design). 

I collect a lot of CMNM photos and have them for 'friends only' on: http://www.flickr.com/people/sunbunz/ You have to join Flickr (free) and add me as friend to view the pics. Please STATE on your profile that you are 18 years old or OVER 18 This makes things legal and I'll get less flack from Flickr for pandering to minors. There are also thousands of Flickr groups (little discussion but lots of photos) devoted to different aspects of this same idea: Frat parties, doctor's physical exams, being naked in public (not just flashing from a alley or window), sports locker rooms, etc. My own Net photos collections are categorized in sets as such. There are also scores of Net porn sites devoted to some particular 'flavor' or scene that is strongly related to CMNM. There are also a few private and public groups on Yahoo and Tribe.net devoted to CMNM. 

* You must be a Flickr member and my Flickr friend to view the private pics on my Flickr photostream.
_________________ 

The spirit is willing but the flash is week day and weekend!

Naked in Locker Rooms: Voices from the past, Part 1b

runr

naked guys in locker rooms 12/19/2003 6:01AM

Something has been bugging me for quite some time, but I can't exactly bring up the subject with the culprits: What's with all the guys who resist wearing towels in the locker rooms of athletic clubs? I'm using the plural because, though I only belong to one club, I assume the phenomenon is widespread. I'm not a prude, but there's something really creepy about flabby 60-year-olds standing shaving/gabbing/strolling etc. buck naked when they could easily wrap towels around their waists. My theory, for what it's worth, is that many of these people have not participated in high school or college athletics, thereby learning a few important things about locker room etiquette. I ran track and xc in college not long ago, and everybody wore towels except, naturally, in the shower. There's just no reason to display your garbage to the world if you don't have to. If you're one of the no-towel types, I'd like to hear why you do it.

girlie	RE: naked guys in locker rooms 12/19/2003 6:03AM - in reply to runr
	Women do it too. Pretty gross.

You Can't Be Serious	RE: naked guys in locker rooms 12/19/2003 6:03AM - in reply to runr
	naked guy in the locker room who invades my space and insists and getting far to close to me or others is truly disgusting. serious social violation.

Flagpole Willy	RE: naked guys in locker rooms 12/19/2003 6:07AM - in reply to runr
	Personally I wear a towel all the time except for the few seconds I don't have to while getting dressed or getting in the shower, but that is only because Flagpole Willy cares about everyone and their feelings. Don't want everyone else feeling badly about their shortcomings you know.

                                         

mmm, naked 60 yr olds

RE: naked guys in locker rooms 12/19/2003 6:07AM - in reply to You Can't Be Serious

People that age grew up with different norms for locker room behavior. When they were kids they actually showered after gym class. I doubt it was because they lack your vast experience as an athlete; if anything, people who never spent time in locker rooms tend to cower in corners. Besides, if I haven't showered yet, I don't wrap my towel around my sweaty body. Why get the towel dirty to avoid offending your sexual insecurities?

Pauncho	RE: naked guys in locker rooms 12/19/2003 6:09AM - in reply to runr
	It was easy to wrap a towel around myself when I was a young runner. When you grow a gut, you can't keep the damn towel on, and it just falls on the floor anyway.

Sound and Vision

RE: naked guys in locker rooms 12/19/2003 7:11AM - in reply to You Can't Be Serious

This is an interesting viewpoint. I am a twenty-something and in college and in high school, the people who wore towels, of which I once was, were looked upon with contempt and disgust. I think the rationale was that those individuals had very small penises and were hiding them or else they were afraid of revealing their erections it was presumed they might be having (although I am not sure a towel would do much to hide an erection, that was the logic used by teenagers). Before long, I ditched the towel and found it didn't really bother me or anyone else. I personally am not offended by any person who goes without a towel nor do I scoff at those who carry one. It seems pretty irrelevant. I don't know what social norms are expected in a place like a locker room, but I either don't know them or I ignore them. On an interesting side note, I went to a female friends apartment last night to spend some time there, and upon entering, I found one of them completely nude in her shower--naturally--and one of her other roommates standing there combing her hair in the same bathroom with the door wide open. Being a gentleman, I chose not to stand there and gawk but I did see enough to figure out that neither girl appeared disconcerted or bothered by the one naked female. I guess this means girls, or at least these two, don't appear to have the same hangup guys do. S&V

assfucker	RE: naked guys in locker rooms 12/19/2003 7:15AM - in reply to runr
	runr: cry me a river

peeper	RE: naked guys in locker rooms 12/19/2003 7:26AM - in reply to Sound and Vision
	S&V, Next time you visit your friends please bring a digital camera and snap a shot to share with us all. It might not be the gentlemanly thing to do, but it would be the manly/humanitarian thing to do (unless you friend's naked showering friend is a sorry sight. If that is the case, I feel for you).

Ex-Ivy

RE: naked guys in locker rooms 12/19/2003 7:56AM - in reply to assfucker

In college, I always enjoyed the freedom of wandering around the locker room with my johnson unleashed. The locker room was sort of a johnson-free zone-- our private space, where we could crank up some tunes after a workout and let things swing.... Now there were guys who would do things like wear sandals into the shower... these dudes usually whipped their towels tightly around their small packages immediately upon exiting, usually after a nervous 20 second shower. These guys usually snuck in an extra half mile on the warm down to hit their log goal, and usually had to get back to their dorm right away to study engineering. They let loose maybe once per season, getting ridiculously trashed at team parties. Other guys took it too far, sitting around reading shit, going from locker to locker talking trash, laying out on benches, and in one memorable case, eating a tuna fish sandwich, completely buck naked, almost luxuriating in their manhood. Most of these guys did pretty well with the ladies, as I recall, and often drank heavily on weeknights at local townie bars. They sometimes initiated interesting discussions, such as the relative merits of attending class commando-style, their favorite "nookie pants," and their perception of various ladies' preferences with regard to respective johnsons. There was rarely any open package-checking, but once in a while, some big swinging dick would declare himself king of the johnsons and call out a particular dude for a face off. I don't recall any of these competitions ever getting off the ground, but there was generally money wagered, sides chosen up and lots of pointless dick comments fired back and forth. I fell somewhere in between, feeling pity for the dudes who were ashamed of their action, but wishing some of these other guys would pack it in from time to time. Nowadays, I basically change quickly in small stalls, usually in a hurry. I miss the locker room atmosphere, but upon reflection, its probably not because of the johnsons. Now I'm in my 30's and haven't wandered around naked in front of other guys in a while, except for a trip to Europe, but that's different. I remember a July 4th barbecue with some bare-assed antics too, but there were chicks there, so I guess that doesn't count either. I'd welcome an old-timers day, I suppose, although I'd probably be more turned off by the guts involved, including my own,than anything else. I don't know what it means, but as I write this from my office, I bet my colleagues outside would be shocked by my bare-assed history and would think I was a bit freewheeling, which makes me somehow feel like I'm in the wrong job. Sometimes I'll come out of the shower in my place and walk around without a towel, and then realize that the curtains are open and my neighbors can probably see. I'll feel a momentary embarassment and go for the blinds, but then I'll say the hell with it, this is my place and my johnson, so what do I care?

Mop Boy	RE: naked guys in locker rooms 12/19/2003 8:11AM - in reply to Ex-Ivy
	Ex-Ivy, Didn't I catch you hiding under the bench in the sauna of the men's locker room at Bally's last week. You really WAX reminiscent about your old locker room.

Typical American	RE: naked guys in locker rooms 12/19/2003 8:32AM - in reply to
	Americans are very uncomfortable with their bodies and their sexuality.

You Can't Be Serious	RE: naked guys in locker rooms 12/19/2003 8:33AM - in reply to
	I have no problems with dudes walking around bare ass nekid. The ones that get me are those who bring their junk a little too close to you and/or others with changing and conversing. There are just certain levels of proper locker room decorum.

D3 Running

RE: naked guys in locker rooms 12/19/2003 8:41AM - in reply to You Can't Be Serious

ridiculous... my god... if you cannot stand to see the guys' packages then don't look if you truly don't want. just cuz you see a guys wang doesn't mean that you're gay or that they are trying to make people uncomfortable by having it out. Our team walks around naked all the time and we just have a good laugh about it and don't think about it anymore. it makes for some good jokes and what not. get over your fear of being thought of as gay and rock out with your cock out

You Can't Be Serious	RE: naked guys in locker rooms 12/19/2003 8:43AM - in reply to D3 Running
	read what i wrote. not your interpretation of it.

laissez-faire	RE: naked guys in locker rooms 12/19/2003 9:25AM - in reply to You Can't Be Serious
	naked communal showers make for more socially well-adjusted men. there is truly nothing to hide in this life, if not the johnson. if girls' teams had communal showers, maybe they wouldn't be such headcases. or maybe it would be worse.

Naked in Locker Rooms: Voices from the past, Part 1c

XC	RE: naked guys in locker rooms 12/19/2003 5:01PM - in reply to I'm a grower not a shower
	When I was a freshman in high school we were in the go-between thing between guys and girls locker rooms and two naked guys (football players0 walked in totally naked. It was really gross one was my brother's best friend they were seniors and we were only freshman. Guys who walk around naked in locker rooms must be gay, me and my friends could never look at them again without laughing.

XC recruitgirl	RE: naked guys in locker rooms 12/19/2003 5:02PM - in reply to XC recruitgirl
	PS we were in the go between getting our cross country uniforms from the coach, that is where uniforms were stored.

comfortable

RE: naked guys in locker rooms 12/19/2003 10:03PM - in reply to XC recruitgirl

I like to shower in the locker room and keep my eye out for guys that are obviously uncomfortable with nakedness, then i put my towel over my shoulders and walk up to them and talk to them. even better if they are sitting on the bench, puts their eyeline right at ball height. during the convo they are all squirmy and uncomfortable and dont know where to look, its great, everyone who is comfortable in the locker room should do this. The origonal poster of this thread is one of those guys who wears his towel, then pulls his whitey tighties up underneath it. how sad.

locker room stud	RE: naked guys in locker rooms 12/19/2003 10:52PM - in reply to oksxccoach
	When I was in high school (last year), there was no such thing as a personal space bubble. The borderline between "funny because it's gay" and "bad because it's actually gay" was never reached. I was sitting on the floor tying my shoes one day and a naked teammate ran up to me and wiped his sweaty asscrack across my head like you would scan a credit card. Ah, the good old days.

Proud Parents

RE: naked guys in locker rooms 12/20/2003 4:22AM - in reply to locker room stud

lovely dude. that's not gay, that's not funny. that's just down right disgusting. locker room stud wrote: When I was in high school (last year), there was no such thing as a personal space bubble. The borderline between "funny because it's gay" and "bad because it's actually gay" was never reached. I was sitting on the floor tying my shoes one day and a naked teammate ran up to me and wiped his sweaty asscrack across my head like you would scan a credit card. Ah, the good old days.

Phil.

RE: naked guys in locker rooms 12/20/2003 5:10AM - in reply to runr

runr wrote: Something has been bugging me for quite some time, but I can't exactly bring up the subject with the culprits: What's with all the guys who resist wearing towels in the locker rooms of athletic clubs? I'm using the plural because, though I only belong to one club, I assume the phenomenon is widespread. I'm not a prude, but there's something really creepy about flabby 60-year-olds standing shaving/gabbing/strolling etc. buck naked when they could easily wrap towels around their waists. Sorry to break this to you but yes you are a prude! My theory, for what it's worth, is that many of these people have not participated in high school or college athletics, thereby learning a few important things about locker room etiquette. I ran track and xc in college not long ago, and everybody wore towels except, naturally, in the shower. There's just no reason to display your garbage to the world if you don't have to. Your theory is wrong, back in the day we weren't so insecure as you obviously are and someone wearing a towel would have been rather strange. Certainly putting a towel on to go to the shower after XC or Rugby when you're covered in mud would have been crazy! Communal showering was usually a surprise when first encountered at about 12yo but everyone got over it fairly rapidly, clearly you didn't. The fact that you refer to it as 'garbage' clearly indicates a problem and I suggest counselling. If you're one of the no-towel types, I'd like to hear why you do it. Because showering naked is normal and being naked in a locker room is nothing to get hung up about!

Bobby Knight	RE: naked guys in locker rooms 12/20/2003 6:04AM - in reply to Phil.
	Prudes indeed. I take a dump - wipe my ass - show the used toilet paper to my team and the next thing you know they say I was harrassing them. Getting naked, shitting together and watching German Poop tapes this is the stuff of Champions.

Buffalo Alumni	RE: naked guys in locker rooms 12/20/2003 7:02AM - in reply to runr
	During my first couple years at UB we (the mens team) had an unspoken rule about nakedness in the locker room. There was none! With only one exception though. The biggest, baddest distance runner on the team (George) could go without the fig leave. Why? Because if you said anything to him about his exposer he would jump you, and wrestle you to the ground buck naked! Very disturbing!

mormons are funny

RE: naked guys in locker rooms 12/20/2003 8:48AM - in reply to Buffalo Alumni

the mormons at my high school wear towels around them WHEN showering in the locker rooms. it's kinda funny, cuz then they grab their clothes and go into the bathroom stalls w/ the locks on them and change into their clothes so no one can see them w/ their clothes off. I on the other hand take off everything and eat breakfast while taking my shower. it feels good, and i don't care if they see me, it's not like they've never seen something like it before. Plus after 8 miles at 5 AM, I don't really care what you think about me.

Uncle Billsby	RE: naked guys in locker rooms 12/31/2004 11:01PM - in reply to CO-Runner
	So you're saying we should just f*** that 60 year old man in the ass in front of his kids?

southsiderunner	RE: naked guys in locker rooms 12/20/2003 2:58PM - in reply to Uncle Billsby
	haha, adam sandler...classic

ray

RE: naked guys in locker rooms 12/21/2003 1:04AM - in reply to southsiderunner

I think an earlier poster hit it on the head. I'm 51. when I was in Junior High, we were told we all had to shower after gym class. Now I see kids on the high school teams go into stalls to change into their shorts. When my dad brought me to the Y for the first time, I couldn't believe everyone swam naked. Same thing at the old North End Boys Club. And yes, how about a little title nine enforcement on the girls shower situation. Why they had individual stalls and we had the prison camp setting can't be good for their self image. It is truly weird that today's youth are so sexually liberated, promiscuous at a very young age, and yet so hung up on their bodies. Splain that to me Lucy.

hkd

RE: naked guys in locker rooms 12/21/2003 2:29AM - in reply to ray

"I like to shower in the locker room and keep my eye out for guys that are obviously uncomfortable with nakedness, then i put my towel over my shoulders and walk up to them and talk to them. even better if they are sitting on the bench, puts their eyeline right at ball height. during the convo they are all squirmy and uncomfortable and don't know where to look, its great, everyone who is comfortable in the locker room should do this. The original poster of this thread is one of those guys who wears his towel, then pulls his whitey tighties up underneath it. how sad." We had a guy on the team and I will never forget this. He would do the above exactly. Walk up to a freshmen who was very uncomfortable. He would walk up towel on head put lean up against the lockers with his junk a foot from there head and say "listen John a couple of upper classman have been getting together, we have been talking (we think you are a hard worker, we really like your attitude, all serious stuff and finish with)we all think you have got a really nice cock. It was hilarious. The reaction was priceless