Budapest Turkish Bath Part 1: Travel Blog

Roommate CMNM - How to get it started without risking offense or making him uncomfortable

[This topic was first brought up on a forum by someone who also posted the same question,)

Is there any way to go about setting up a CMNM (or, for that matter, just plain

NM) scenario with guys you know--without freaking them out? I know a guy or two I might like to have such a scenario with (maybe with some touching or contact but not necessarily any sex), but I don't know how to actually go about approaching the issue in such a way that I don't inadvertently transgress any of their personal boundaries and/or make them uncomfortable.
Like, my roommate, for example. I'd like to be naked around him or with him, but I can't very well say "Hey, dude, can we hang out naked sometime?" That might really weird him out. But, if there were the potential for him to be open to it, it would be something I'd want to do. But, I don't know how to approach the issue at all. I don't how to approach it in a way that I could find out if he'd be open to it without simultaneously risking offending him or making him uncomfortable. Any thoughts?

It's partly going to be 'hard' (lol) for you to pull off (no pun) this scenario if you are not willing to be naked yourself. What I'm saying is -- if you have already been living with roommates and you've not had even any chance for them to see you naked (except just an accidental glimpse) then it probably means that 'nudity' is not (yet) a acceptable part of your 'household' lifestyle or relationship. In order for it to 'happen', you probably need something pretty radical or unusual to cause a change in the status quo. Examples might be: a new roommate (adding another) or exchanging one, or your moving out and finding different roommates- -more accepting or adventurous ones. If that's not an option or you do have an inkling he might be 'ready' and then you shouldn't give up. You can bring 'egg' him along by subtlely and sometimes more drastically forcing the issue and get your naked body seen and maybe his along with it.

By the way, nUdity / cLOthed situations don't have to happen with ONLY people you know -- there are many other kinds of situations so instead of beating a dead horse (lol).. perhaps you need to take up another tactic or seek a new kind of CNMN activity with a set of guys who are more amenable. However, there is a special nature to being naked/clothed with someone who you know, like and can get along with - after all that's one definition of a friend. I realize too that for some people, they 'need' that special bonding with someone, and the CMNM experience may not have much meaning or much excitement if the person is a total stranger. Yet, some guys can only be excited if the person is an unknown stranger. Even luckier when you get to have both. Nonetheless, you've got your objective in mind ... so how do you go about getting to that place where you're both comfortable or at least accepting (i.e. not outraged or embarrassed) by one of you being naked in front of the other?

Tactics for setting the right environment for CMNM and for setting up the sitution with a roommate:

If you going to be living with this roommate a while, there are some ways I can suggest that you can try to set-up CMNM. More than likely you'll just be to getting him and - more likely - yourself) to being nude at certain times when you're together at home. These initial times should be when you are both at ease and relaxed, and then these opportunities can later start get more frequent and perhaps more daring.

Try to come up with natural, unforced occasions when you can get naked in his presence or at least allow him to see you nude. Changing for bed or getting into the shower. In some case, there may be things you can do outside of the apartment/house where nudity would be expected - such as changing at the pool or in a locker room - so that you've seen in other naked where it is expected and inconsequential.

For things to move beyond just such occasional glimpes, you may have to 'set up' some of these

situations -- if it's something that's not been any part of your style of living.
- Such a 'set-up' might be forgetting something like a towel or wash cloth when you're in the shower, or running out of soap or shampoo and having to come out to get some (or one that you just bought but 'forget' to bring with you.
- Use your cellphone to ring (set up the alarm to ring) while you're in the tube and you rush out of the bathroom naked "not knowing he was there" story to grab your phone.


Let him catch you naked a few times innocently.
If you are now walking through the house/apartment nude, then it might seem strange to just start doing so.
So you first have to get him used to seeing you in various states of undress.
Start by coming out with no shirt or lounging around only in your boxes or athletic shorts. Later try to set up more 'naked' situations where he catches you naturally for longer than just a quick glimpse and with more visible exposure of your body and genitals. Be sure to intersperse brief innocent exposures with the longer ones - you don't want to raise anxiety by him beginning to think you are targeting him. Also, it would work best if he's also the naked one at times.
This might be his knocking on your bedroom door (to get something you borrowed or that you share - cordless phone, vacuum cleaner, etc) and then him seeing you naked when you casually answer (call him in ) or even open the door. If you have separate bedrooms and you're nude doing something like trying to untie some knotted shoelaces (and you may have the stereo/TV on) or headphones on (so you can't him knock), it appears totally nature and casual for you both.

Talking about sexuality and the male body

It may be helpful - not only for your friendship with your roommates - but also as a way to get everyone in the the living environment used to commenting on (or even discussions) of the human body (male and female), being male, and acknowledgement of sexual urges and needs. You don't have to describe in exquisite details your own sexual exploits all at once, but at least , you should be able to talk about the basic nature of human sexual needs. The topic surely comes up - -if not from you, then through the media.

References to sexual things often come up in movies and TV sitcoms, even news events, and from other friends, so you or your roommate can offer your own comments, opinions or experiences. "Boy, do I know what he's talking about there." It helps to make the other person feel comfortable knowing that you're willing to express yourself on sexual topics.
This assumes that you're already watching TV or videos together. If you're not even spending that much time together or conversing, it's not going to be so easy to share a nude/clothed lifestyle together.

Other ideas:

1) Start freeballing - that way you'll already be half naked. Your roommate will get used to seeing your cock, balls and butt if you undress where he can see.
2) If he's too uptight, he'll keep looking away or even ask you to dress in your own room. They will give you clues about how to proceed.


3) If this avoidance behavior persists, especially if he mentions it or draws some attention to it (like leaving the room), you could confront him about his being too uptight or too restrictive on your own personal freedom. 4) If he jokes about it, then you could also joke back with him.. 'Try it out, you might like it'. Just be upfront (and clever).. " seeing me naked doesn't bother you, does it?" How would he answer that but say 'No, not at all."
5) Start a new activity that involves him and you -- and the possibility of nudity - swimming for fitness, gym, fitness club, yoga, weekend sports, jogging, weekend trips or day time outing to the lake, beach, etc.
6) Always sleep in the nude so it won't be strange for you to be naked in and around your bedroom, also when you and he get to do some overnight trips or camping, etc.

7) Get a friend (or a bunch of them) who are nudists (or who like being naked or doing naked stuff) and whom you visit or go out with - taking your roommate along. These friends can invite you and your roomie to get naked. Whether he's gay or straight or maybe better when he's with a woman around, the 'pressure' of your friend's request might help him to break down the barriers so he'll actually get nude too. At least, you can accept your nudist friend's invitation - so you'll be naked in front of your roomie.
8) Have a party! Alcohol seems to be a great excuse for getting rid of clothes and inhibitions. Costume or themes parties can make it easier since invitees are already out of their regular attire anyway. Or plan special party games that require the removal of clothes - sometimes a necessity if things get wet.

9) Dare and double-dares will some work -- especially if the other person just needs a good challenge (or a safe excuse) for getting naked.

Below are some additional suggestions offered by others.

 on Sun Nov 23, 2008 7:25 am

Well, with a roommate situation, it can be pretty easy. Just walk from the shower to your room naked. Or, even though you know your roommate is coming home, pretend you didn't and while your naked say something like, "oh sorry, was doing laundry and didn't know you were coming home." Then gauge his reaction. But with others you know, it might be harder to set up an "innocent" situation. If you're looking to arrange something with strangers, craigslist.org is a good place to post.  ----------

 on Mon Dec 01, 2008 7:38 pm

Here's one approach I've used with a new roommate. First, tell them I like to sleep naked. Second, go to the fridge for a drink (or something else you take at bedtime). Go to the fridge naked while he's watching TV or doing some other passive activity--and say something along the way to him, like "Is that movie worth seeing?". After that you'll have some more opportunities to be naked in various situations and (in my experience) he'll eventually follow suit. Whether it leads to sex is more a matter of agreement between the two of you, though a compliment on his "equipment" might foster some action. by Grubernowski

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Please add your own ideas / suggestions as a comment.

The compulsion to expose oneself comesa from being an extreme racial minority

For nearly two years (very infrequently - off and on), I have tried to get a younger man (about 23-27) who rides to work on his bicycle through the cemetery to notice my peekaboo flashing (see thru, hole-riddled jeans, and mesh clothes). He's not ever really taken the bait and generally turns his head or avert his eyes - if we're too close - so that he can't be 'accused' of looking. I am pretty positive he knows what I'm up to ... a few times a month I make a sudden appearance on his route - sometimes with my zipper down or sometimes,  during the warmer months, wearing a pair of mesh shorts with my shirt tucked in just for him to see my pale cock wiggle from side-to-side as I walk by him.  If he were so disgusted or fearful (of being stalked), he could easily find another path to his work (I think he's working at a small commercial airport not too far away) because I meet him usually (once a week or so) around 7:00am and he returns about home the same route in mid-afternoon. Wednesdays are his day off so he works on Saturdays as well. Things have gotten more daring on my part this month.   Of course, there are many more people of Asian origin in most European cities than you would find Non-Asians (caucasians) in major cities of the country where I live.  I am writing this post partly in response to  in a posting (original from May 10) by the user cygnus who wants to find a place to flash in Holland. Look how he has described himself:  "I am skinny asian boy" (a very cute one from the looks of his attached photo ), so  I am wondering if being a member of a racial minority may have an effect on wanting to be a flasher (or to expose ourselves). I would say deep down psychologically it does. We' re not talking about simply travelling to a country that has a very different ethnicity as your own. But actually living, working and becoming immersed in the language, culture and daily life for a long period of time - (few to many years) might prompt extreme minority members to crave acceptance beyond the 'normal' channels. I noticed some str8 flasher on the other discussion forum on this site who fit this profile.  I'll need a shrink to help me explain it or explore the ideas within myself - but others may have some insight to share. So does this strike a harmonic chord with anybody else who is a would-be flasher / exhibitionist and who is also in a racial minority in the country of residence where you live and work?  Recently I've gotten more bold.. like this morning. From the road, he would see  me something like this (photo attached). I realize it's very tame by comparison  (to other's extreme flashing - but HEY!.. we are NOT all made or built the same,  right?) I'm standing in a pathway between grave plots about 7 meters from  the main road that runs through the cemetery. It's a straight wide (private) road with no thru vehicle traffic - so I only have to be careful about pedestrians and bicyclists going east/west. Before taking up my position just off the road, I scout out down the road to see if he's approaching and then take up my position (like the photo).  I'm turned a bit to the left but I can him clearly when I look to my right. I've done this before but never pulled my pants all the way down until recently.  Earlier, I was taking a piss (or pretending too). So twice recently.. when I knew nobody else was approaching either direction .. I've pulled down my pants and starting jerking my cock (not hard in this 'staged' recreation of the scene). There should be no doubt that he can see me in this peripheral vision but he's TOO damned chicken or just not going to give me the pleasure knowing he's looking. He's smart - not a smart-alec and he's not looking for a confrontation but he's not looking to see 'dick' if he can help it either. I know it's pretty stupid (fruitless is a better word LOL) -maybe useless to try to keep flashing this guy (if you can call it that). But the challenge just seems to be increasing my feelings of urgency. This time after he went by without so much as a smile or frown/scowl or side glance... I had to go deeper off the main road and beat off til I came. Is this going to lead to me trying to go to greater lengths to get the guy to look? I think the attraction is that I sort of 'feel' like I know him -- ridiculous idea (I know) but at least we recognize each other. Sometimes he almost can't help it if I suddenly meet him coming around a corner but it's risky to be 'showing' more than just wearing see-thru mesh - because mothers with school children, old ladies and men heading to their office job are equally likely to suddenly appear around the same corners. I know he does look my way at times .. but it's only when I'm 20-50 meters away. There is a large plaza (paved area) along the main road, where we sometimes cross paths at a much great distance. It is at times like that when I have my zipper down and my cock partly exposed. I notice then that he 'seems' to take a brief look .. but if I'm too close.. he averts his eyes or even turns his head. What do you think? It's not much of a flashing experience - but it's the most 'real' flashing I've ever done (not counting nude beaches and CMNM with male strangers in hostels/campsites). He's got to know that I'm 'beating off' for him, but he's closed to the idea.See what I mean ... in a posting (original from May 10) cygnus wants to find a place to flash in Holland. Of course, there are many more people of Asian origin in most European cities than you would find Non-Asians (caucasians) in major cities of the country where I live. Look how he described himself "I am skinny asian boy" (a very cute one from the looks of his attached photo ), but does being a racial minority have an effect on us wanting to be a flasher (or to expose ourselves). I would say deep down psychologically it does. We' re not talking about simply travelling to a country that has a very different ethnicity as your own. But actually living, working and becoming immersed in the language, culture and daily life for a long period of time - (few to many years) might prompt extreme minority members to crave acceptance beyond the 'normal' channels. I noticed some str8 flasher on the other discussion forum on this site who fit this profile. I'll need a shrink to help me explain it or explore the ideas within myself - but others may have some insight to share.

So does this strike a harmonic chord with anybody else who is a would-be flasher / exhibitionist and who is also in a racial minority in the country of residence where you live and work?

Medical Fetish: Doctor and male nurse take good care of their young athlete patient

William Higgins: Igor, Fanda and Artur

Fanda Modry's Czech Upm also features Dr Artur Lafek and Sister Ivan Mukovsky. Fanda attends the clinic to have an injury to his hand inspected but Artur decides a full Czech Up is needed, so Fanda strips off and puts on a surgical gown, assisted by Ivan. Fanda then climbs on to the inspection chair to have his chest and back tested by Artur. Then as Artur takes his blood pressure Ivan is soothing Fanda, by stroking his abs, and very soon he starts to kiss Fanda and play with his dick. Artur sits and watches, stroking his dick at the same time. It is not long before Fanda and Artur are rock hard.

Ivan goes down on Fanda's dick while Artur strokes his and licks Fanda's foot, before rubbing his dick all over it. Then he moves over and gives Fanda a taste of cock too, which he laps up. Ivan sees that and wants some of Artur's dick to, as it looks so good throbbing in Fanda's mouth, so he sucks it as well. Artur, though, has other ideas and soon sits on the chair himself and invites Fanda to sit on his rock hard dick, which he does very well.

Men’s Naturist Clubs: Is it an idea whosea time has come?

Do you participate in any organized nudist or naturist clubs or nude men's groups events in your area/city? Hello Jguys / US guys and of course Worldguys, This site is evidently shutting down or greatly changing in a short time. I thought it necessary to try to connect off-line with some of the members who may be interested in a gay men's social club, especially one where social events involving nudity can occur. So I am trying to start a regular international social club for nudist and naturist men (gay, straight, bi and curious) living or traveling in the Tokyo area. First of all, one may already (in Japanese - exclusively for Japanese men) but that won't help those who enjoy relating with other internationally minded guys, or who can't speak Japanese (such as newcomers and visitors). Still, if you know how to contact any such group in Tokyo (or nearby), please let me know. If you are interested in participating by attending, volunteering, and sponsoring or hosting an event for the new men's nudist social club, then please contact me here or on one of the following: My Twitter account is the same name and I'm also on Tribe.net, Adam4Adam, Dudesnude, JguysUSguys, and HangoutNude (other ids are: sunbuns99 or seefallus or hardtwoholed (Yahoo!) My contact is: sunbunz on Google mail for direct email messages. もちろん俺たちは日本語が少しできますので、遠慮しないで下さい。 　We would make daytrips to hot springs resorts and take evening visits to Tokyo city spas, hold pot luck dinners, and game or movie nights, and from time to time hold outdoors picnics and excursions to the few limited nude beaches or other naturist areas nearby. Visitors from out of town could also be welcome to attend as guests through an invitation of current members. Fees for spa or bath entrances, transport, and food, drinks, etc are to born by each individual. There are no fees to participate or to join the club. Sexual behavior is NOT the norm. It is NOT a sex club, but sex might be allowed as a 'special activity' for certain designated events or situations. It would up to the members to decide if or when sexual behavior would be allowed (or not) - the location and make-up of the participants would certainly determine what's likely to be decided. Thanks in advance for answering and for possibly joining our soon-to-be-formed social club (its name is not decided). Dare to stay bare for those who care... Kelly (sunbuns), Tokyo, Japan Anyone else? I've yet to put up any such announcement on GNJ. You're welcome to advertise it -- as appropriate and give me as a contact.  Somehow it seemed more urgent to do it here since (as you noted), we never know who and how many of this site's members will be returning to the new one. Anyone else who is interested in knowing ore or in possibly joining our group can also reach me directly at: sunbunz (at) gmail.com I was tentatively hoping to hold an initial meeting in October (Sunday, the 2nd of Oct.), but nothing is definite.  I have a friend visiting from Kyushu who would love to get naked, too. So any meeting may turn out to be much later (or not at all). Still.. we can only try and see. I think I've become more 'open' to doing something like this because of the repeal of DADT (the former rule / policy) in the US military. I was never in the military but I certainly understood how the 'policy' made them feel. Much of life in Japan is still under an even more inhumane DADT policy - at least in my own existence.  I believe now that more US servicemen stationed in Japan may be willing to participate, and particularly those who want to get off base and mix with the Japanese male community.  Besides, we all know the appeal of men in uniform who take it all off. Whoa! (smile).  Ciao,  Kelly ---------------------------------------- Great to hear you're interested, Paul and Cail. Well.. that's 3 people so far. I'm hoping more will speak up.  Unfortunately, JguyUSguy will be shutting down before long (although it may return in reduced form).  I also posted the notice on GNJ and Fridae (or will do so) - two other sites, but my Japanese is not good enough to find and then post the whole announcement on Japanese language sites where more locals are likely to see it. It might not go over well in the Japanese gay community for the simple fact that nudism is common - at least, as a 'hobby' or recreational activity. Obviously, onsen (hot springs) involve some different levels of nudity, and public baths used to be very very common (although that has changed greatly).  I'm not only thinking about nudity. While I enjoy the outdoors very much (whether I am naked or not), but I also enjoy the arts and politics, good food and wine. Maybe the idea of a International Gay Men's Social Club ... or a All-Male Chorus might work out better.  Instead of simply being a very specific interest - nudism, maybe the purpose of the club should be larger: men's issues or a gay men's social club. In some US and other cities worldwide, there are gay men's groups that have some special function besides just 'meeting to meet',  notably are the Men's Chorus groups in several major American and Canadian cities. There are also gay men's art, theatre, and sporting groups as well.    Obviously, a social justice or environmental cause can attract gay men (as well as other subgroups in society), such as the World Naked Bike Ride (WNBR groups) that spring up every year in June and October (North and South hemispheres).  So if the purpose of the group were broadened, then there could be certain chapters for the location or type of activity, (such as naked outings or nude dinners), and even special interest groups (nudism, CMNM, wine tasting), or the various group could combine their activities for parties, fairs, visits to the theater, movies or art exhibits - where like-minded men (Japanese and all others) can mingle and get to know each other.  Does this sound like pie in the sky? Do you think it could work and maybe there is no real need for such a men's club oriented for M4M.   I realize most people have their own friends, lovers, sex buddies and LTR but I also know many do not, or cannot easily make other gay male friends. Some guys are sure they are even gay and need a place and some people to talk about it.  I have noticed already that there seems to be a sudden swell in the number of US military men who are getting online (in Japan) and probably coming out more to the gay bars. Clearly, there should be alternatives to staying out drinking late at night for men (and not just gay men).  This type of organization may be more possible today now than it was prior to Sept 21 - when 'don't ask, don't tell' ended for all US military personnel.  Anyway.. thanks for getting in touch.  Let me know what you think when you have a chance, Anyone can contact me via email at sunbunz (@) gmail.com Kelly Being tangential (or at least distantly related) to the topic isn't a problem that you need apologize for, KF.  I am not a stickler for decorum. It's the substance of the message that is most important, and I also appreciate your responses for exactly that reason: You take time to write something worth reading.  -------------- I certainly agree that the casual or incidental nudity that is prevalent in Japan (more so in the past and in some regions) does satisfy the basic 'human urge' or instinct to be naked with one's fellow man (or woman - as the case may be).  The ritual of bathing (for cleansing the body and soothing the spirit), and formerly doing so in a shared social experience ('public bath and onsen') have deeply affected the evolution of the Japanese psyche. It's worth studying in much more detail and breadth than I can do it justice here.  However, I think there are much more profound and deeply cultural reasons why Japanese (and other Asian) countries don't practice nudism to the same extent that it seems to be awed and revered in the West. Religion (or deeply ingrained moral tenets or ethical practices - since Japan's 'religions' are actually difficult to categorize as such) plays a huge role.  For the West, one absolutely has to remember how much nudity and, by association - sexuality are also reviled by the puritanical elements, the strongly socially conservative and morally 'righteous' Christian right (which still holds a strong influence on the American psyche (and politics - e.g. the Tea Baggers (Bachmann's Tea Party) - who view the human body (particularly a nude one) as the devil's temptation to sin and depravity. While few people would admit to agreeing with that outright, that basic underlying sentiment pervades a lot of North American societal consciousness and certainly affected for a very long time the prohibition on sex, nudity, and particularly homosexuality in American society.  It is similar but to less pervasive extent in European civilization too, owing to the massive influence of the Catholic Church.  So... I'm way off topic... (or not)...  Just answer question (on topic): Would you ever participate in a gay men's social club activities off-line? (Explain why or why not?) I'm trying to gauge whether it is worth the effort to attempt to organize one. (Or as I might suspect, are people (gay men) already 'organized / disorganized' in their own private social networks, and incapable reaching out to take a more public stance or put on a public face.  (Perhaps I've already answered my own question... but I'd still love to hear what you (and others) have to say about this idea.) Ciao, Kelly (sunbuns)